Everything just hurts.
Today was my third day back and I worked an eleven hour shift. My feet hurts, my right ankle is swollen and killing me. My mind is going a thousand miles per hour going back over the day and the pending shift tomorrow. I thought I was working the day shift and now I might be closing. Things need to be done and management is freaking out about stuff. And I am just thrown into it all.
It’s like I never left.
Today was rough. I’m still limping but if I walk slowly enough, I can almost reclaim my natural gait but most of the time, I’m limping along. It’s enough to schedule physical therapy starting on the 10th but I’m hanging in there. It’s nice to fixate on work and feel useful about something instead of being bed ridden with a broken ankle. But I am a natural worrier so my worrying is only projected onto something more immediate: work.
I’ve only worked three days and I’m still getting use to the new management (they switched it up during the two months I was out with my ankle). All I have is myself to watch my own back or stand up for myself. I truly feel alone and like I am stuck on a desert island trying to do my best to get the job done and survive. The transfer I’ve mentioned before has stalled. I still want to go to a different store, spread my wings a bit, and grow as an individual. But after working today, I feel like they won’t let me go because I’ll do what I’m told and what needs to be done. I talked to the GM at the other store and all I can do is carry on until further notice. But I am afraid if I do, I’ll be stuck there forever. I want to move up in management and become salaried but I feel, at this rate, I’m going to be stuck the same store for another four years.
I keep telling myself if I want change, I need to make it. I’ve been trying for a month now to make this transfer happen. But the longer I wait, the more distant it is. It’s frustrating. I wish I knew what is in store for me.