“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” – Zora Neale Hurston
I’ve been comparing my frustrations to being drawn and quartered, in the most metaphorical way possible. I haven’t done anything traitorous (at least to my knowledge). But if you’re a regular reader and you can easily read past entries, you’ll see a repeating pattern of frustration developing that I’ve had since coming back to work on April 1st.
I came back to a new management team and I remember going into the walkin cooler my first day back to do the prep list and freaking out because I couldn’t find anything. They had rearranged the entire cooler, dry storage, and about everything else in the restaurant. Their agendas are different from the old regime’s and my own current agenda is strongly rooted in the previous regime’s agenda. Over the past four weeks, I’ve done my best to hold onto my own standards and work with their own goals. Hence, why I feel like I am being pulled in multiple directions.
I’ve been shift leading for over a year now and for the longest time, I was always a yes (wo)man. I did what I was told and didn’t argue. Now, I’ll still do what I’m told but I have some things I want to point out respectively, like about the inconstancy in our management styles and figuring out what the priorities are so we can all be on the same page. A year ago, I was just along for the ride, now, I want to go above and beyond, show my worth, and get promoted in a salaried position. Something’s got to change.