Frustration

This is on a personal note. And a bit long.

I went to the bank to apply for a preapproval loan to buy a car this morning. I found myself justifying the loan application to this bank teller, who does not know me nor did I know him. Among my incoherently rambling, he said he saw something on the Internet along the lines, January 2016 was just a warm up and my real 2016 kicks off in February. I guess that can be true.

January has not been the greatest. I am frustrated, my depression is being a pain in the ass and stems a plethora of its own problems, my enthusiasm is lacking and I feel like, at 28, I ain’t going nowhere fast. And it’s frustrating.

February 1, 2014, I broke my ankle that had me out of work for two months. In prior months, I felt like I was finally getting my life together. September 2013 was a rough family patch and things were broken. By December I was on the mend. By January, I had a plan. Then I broke my ankle. I had to have surgery, rack up medical bills, be out of work for two months without pay. Four months late, my car starts acting up. 3300 dollars later, the car is fixed by my credit car debit is ridiculous. Later that year, my original store close and I transfer out to Virginia Beach. The only good things about 2014 is that I learned I have the world’s most amazing friends that will get me through anything.

2015. Last year…I don’t know how to summarize it. It wasn’t great. It wasn’t bad either. It was blah. It was mediocre. Nothing bad happened but nothing good happened either. I was stuck.

2016. I spent New Year’s Eve with my friend and her boyfriend. I count her as one my closest friends. This started the year off on a positive note. I was feeling good. I just started the web site so I could sell my photography and I was trying to make changes for the better. (I acutally read somewhere that those who resolve to get in shape as a New Year’s resolution are most likely to fail). I need to get my ass to the gym, if not, do this awesome bodyboard inspired workout at home. I love bodyboarding and I want to get better at it. My finances are stupid. I have to buy a car to replace my old, dying one and I have no idea how to go about it. Or how I am going to pay for it. My depression and anxiety sucks. The one good thing about 2016 thus far is that I am writing. A lot. Some of it is nonficition. A vast majority is creative writing.

At least there’s that.

If February is when 2016 truly kicks off, well, I better get my shit together then. And keep on writing a lot.

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