April was a rough month.
I made some dumb decisions that screwed my credit and drove me deeper into debt. I lacked self control and restraint. Mainly, it was me doing all the drunk purchases that I did. I was feeling down, I wanted to feel better, so I bought stuff. It was pretty dumb and I drove myself further into debt.
But I am going to try to make the best of the situation for the rest of 2016.
I can’t return those things that I purchased, like the skateboard, but what I can do is teach myself how to skate again and eventually land that elusive ollie I set out to master 15 years ago. I have a 3/2mm O’Neill Epic wetsuit that actually fits! and the Bull, a Custom X 42.25 bodyboard that is my ideal. I also have that GoPro that is dying to take some epic wave pics. My photography hobby has withered but is eager to bounce back. My writing, on the other hand, is strong and kicking.
I completed the Camp NaNoWriMo 2016 challenge in the early morning of the deadline. 20, 053 words out of a goal of 20,000. I wrote a novella. I am so proud of myself. The novella is building up to a larger idea I have for a novel that I want to write for November’s NaNoWriMo 2016. It forced me to write almost everyday, even for a few minutes, and it brought me such joy. Then, I was binge watching The X-Files on Netflix, and I decided to pen an fanfic after seeing the revival in February. I haven’t written fanfic in over ten years but something so simple has caused the writing bug to come back in full force, both for fanfic and my original writing. I relish in this small and simple joy.
But the biggest thing I have been lacking is self control…over my budget, my life, my drinking, my well being. I just need that little bit of self control to get me through this rough patch in my life and I am determined to do that by finding purpose and joy in the small things in life.