So, NaNoWriMo begins Tuesday. I am preparing for this task like I used to with the term papers I had done in grad school and college. The hardest part is finding time to dedicate to writing and following through with my word count goals among working two jobs and just trying to adult (which I feel I suck at by the way). So, I have brought out my planner(s): a moleskine again google calendars to help to plan and give my life routine again other than working.
The hardest part will be craving out chunks of my day for certain activities. As it is for NaNoWriMo, the biggest activity is going to be writing, which I want to try and do in the morning for at least an hour and than a half hour when I get home from work at night. That insuring I sleep. I don’t sleep to began with. Another task I decided that I want to try and do is go to the gym and get exercise back into my routine. This month of all times. I was so out of shape the last time I went bodyboarding. Even then, skateboarding…I haven’t been in forever. My attempts at learning to ollie have been put on hold for just getting comfortable with riding my board again. I should be able to supplement those days not at the gym with some riding my skateboard in the parking lot and my driveway after work. Hell, I can get even back into yoga and pilates again with the help of YouTube.
Last week, I had posted on one of the forums over at NaNoWriMo my survival kit. Among them I included the following, and I copy and pasted this too:
- My old trusty laptop complete with Internet connection
- My tablet to read advice and what not on the go when I don’t have access to my laptop.
- Monster Energy Drinks, preferably the Monster Rehabs but any old sort of caffeine will do.
- Music…either new music or stuff from my personal collection.
- My notebook that I have been using all year for Camp NaNoWriMo and character sketches leading up to this project.
- Pens! Preferably Sharpie Fine Tip Black Pens. Not that I am picky.
- A recipe book for quick and easy meals. I love cooking and it is also a creative expression outlet for me.
- And rum and whiskey, and mixers maybe, if I can’t get any ideas going.
Pretty much, this is it in a nutshell then I started thinking about food, especially quick and easy meals. So I am going back to ramen. I lived off this stuff in college and became an expert about cooking ramen in a microwave. My Pinterest cooking board will probably be populated with ramen inspired recipes over the next few days.
I am even going on a grocery shopping trip after work tonight. I intended to make homemade meatballs and marinara (it’s been 7 years since I attempted and my dad used to make it all the time) but I forgot half the actual ingredients. So I have to get those. And some ingredients and Siracha to attempt the first round of experiments with ramen. While I embark on NaNoWriMo, I am gonna try to be healthy. I emphasized that to mark my effort. Excercise, diet, sleep, and everything else and what not.
I got some stuff accomplished in October. I was able to reclaim my home to make it feel like home and I am still in a good relationship with my mother. I am still struggling at living on my own. It was so easier in my early 20s. Now, at 29, almost 30, things like bills, mortgage, sleep, work obligations, other obligations, being a responsible adult in essence, it’s tough. I am grateful for the the life I have had, even though it has been shaky in its own right, but depending on myself, now…shit, I feel like I can’t even trust myself. Being independent and have independence seem to be two different things. I can be independent but I can’t do this alone. I might be mourning my father still. I am. I lied. He was my strongest link in my support network. It’s tough without him. Things are the same but not. I can’t call him to vent about my day. I miss that. I just miss him.
Writing in NaNoWriMo is becoming another exercise in a countless land of exercises that is life. I am attempting a goal that I could easily shrug off or pass when he was alive. So, this is life as an adult. Independence is a fleeting idea. I depend on my friends and my mom now. But I can be independent. I can live by myself, take care of myself and my cats, and reach my goals.
November is shaping up to be a big exercise in life. The rewards being my first novel and proving to myself I can do this thing called adulting and not letting being overwhelmed drown me.