July has left me in a funk so far.
Montreal was phenomenal. The rest has been less than amazing.
Last weekend was tough because the anniversary. I was going to try and attempt Camp NaNoWriMo this month but I feel like I can barely bring myself to write anything, not even a to do list. With the month pretty much done, I’ve given up. It’s been awhile since I have felt like this, like being on autopilot. Without have coursework to distract me, I am too aware of my own thoughts. Dealing with the depression is also a challenge at well. I just feel like something is perpetually off or wrong.
The semester starts back up in six weeks. It will be my last semester pending the completation of my oral exams. After eight years I will have the elusive masters degree. But that also means I will be turning 31 in September, I need to start looking for a job in August for after graduation, and I need to get myself in a routine that includes barely going out, grocery shopping and cooking, and going to the gym at least three times a week. And adulting too. I need to seriously get my shit together before the end of the year.
I have told myself this multiple times but I have to get serious about it.
But I just glide through day to day except with what is expected. My life has writer’s block and I am barely writing in the mean time.
Give me some inspiration. Maybe going bodysurfing this weekend will help.